The Generation of Double Standards

'The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.’ -- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun

We as teenagers are exposed to so much negativity in our everyday lives. From petty high school gossip to nasty Instagram comments, it appears we have grown accustomed to the seemingly never ending flow of hostility that has surrounded us as a generation. Through my day to day interactions at school, online and even amongst my own friends, I have begun to observe the snide comments that have been exchanged, and the whispered words that go unnoticed by most.

Because of this, I have sadly noticed just how far ‘slut-shaming’ has gone. So many girls are being labelled as ‘sluts’, ‘skanks’ or ‘whores’ based on their lifestyle choices and who they associate themselves with. And, to make the situation even more trivial, much of this unnecessary gossip is passed around by other girls. Many girls have been the victim of similar petty rumours, yet they ignore the hurt and pain they felt and choose to spread the rumours anyway.

I am ashamed to say that I too have taken part in the circulation of hurtful rumours by labelling someone based on a poor assumption or unfair judgement. But since learning of the impact this gossip has on those involved, I am making a conscious effort to become more aware of what I say and what is passed around between myself and those around me.

On a recent school retreat, a speaker was brought in to discuss the somewhat glamorised topic of sex. He raised many interesting points about the seemingly grey areas of teenage relationships that are focused on sex, and discussed the influence media has on our lives and the way we see each other and those of the opposite gender. Despite all this, what stood out to me most was a comment he made about the way women are perceived in relation to ‘sleeping around.’ He said that if a woman is known to have casual relationships with different men, she is labelled as a slut. However, he also noted that if a woman did not conform to any sort of sexual advancements posed to her by her male counterparts, she is seen as frigid or a prude. By comparing these two assumptions, one can construe that there seems to be a double standard for women, and that no matter where they are in terms of their private romantic relations, they will be judged either way.

With self-love already so hard to find, the last thing any teenager needs is catty, malicious, behind-back gossip to add onto the already tremendous pressure to conform to society’s standards.

To me, the judgmental attitude that society has created towards women is the main problem behind slut shaming amongst teenage girls, who are often so misinformed they consider believing everything they hear. By calling each other sluts, we are saying that it is acceptable for men to call us sluts, which is therefore condoning sexism and misogyny. This isn’t a problem that can just simply be resolved, as the cut runs too deep and the media influences that are so prominent in today’s world will continue to focus only on the judging of other people. But, just remember that words are powerful things, and can go far in terms of who they affect.

Girls, the sooner we think of each other as equals, the sooner society will treat us as such. We’re here to build each other up, not bring each other down.

Sincerely, Grace